We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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