trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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