If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
