This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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