Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
