Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
