If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
