at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
