if you like me you must not know who I am
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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