we made out on top of his cat.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
