oh god the rape fog is back!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I will be naked everywhere
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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