is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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