Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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