well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
