break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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