At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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