I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
