bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
