You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
