i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
