my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
