Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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