if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
