I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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