I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
