I just made out with a guy for $7.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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