that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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