So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
