Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
