well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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