Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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