I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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