He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
