I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
