My brain says no but my pants say off.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
