How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
