suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
