so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
