you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
