You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
