Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
