no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
