i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
