People in love make me want to vomit
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
