i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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