I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
