Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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