I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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