you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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