What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
