Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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