I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I'm just crazy horny about you
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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