Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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