Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize