you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
