Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
