need another drink. this is the easiest way
So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
