i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
