I want to stick my p in your. b.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
